No matter how long you’ve been a mother, you know motherhood is difficult. This job is not for the faint of heart. Divorce brings another layer of complexity and challenges to motherhood. Hence, during this time, divorced mothers not only need supportive friends and family members, but also a divorce attorney who genuinely cares about their case, its impact on them and their children, and the outcome of their divorce.

Unfortunately, while every divorce lawyer representing mothers should be like this, they are not all.

Sometimes it goes the extra mile or it just takes a few extra minutes to show someone cares.

Here are five ways you can determine if you have a good divorce lawyer.

More than just “How are you?”

It is a superfluous question that is asked and answered millions of times a day. Society has made it a typical and quick exchange between two busy parties. Most people never really want to know the real answer to this question. They just want to greet you politely and get down to business. This is fine in many situations.

Suppose you want a divorce lawyer who doesn’t see your family as just another client. In this case, this question shouldn’t be just a formality. If your attorney asks how you or your children are doing and generally doesn’t accept a simple general answer like “good,” “okay,” or “great,” your worth to them is more than just another divorce case.

If your divorce attorney goes often deeper when you give answers like these that lack more information, it is likely a sign that they are genuinely looking after your divorce case. They care about it and want to know how they can help you ease this difficult situation, even if it’s just an open ear.

Fast response times

Divorce lawyers, like many other professionals, are busy people. It can be difficult to reach voicemails, texts, or emails and be slow to answer. It’s unrealistic to think that every time you call, your attorney can pick up the phone or give an instant response to your email. Lawyers spend most of their days giving all clients the undivided time and attention they deserve. Answering the phone every time it rings is counterproductive to this goal.

Lawyers who are always on time with returning customer communication requests or who follow up when they choose are usually the ones who care the most. They see their job as more than a paycheck-making job. These lawyers know that they are working with real people who have real feelings and who will be affected both now and in the future by the way their divorce case is handled and resolved. They know that sometimes questions and concerns can’t wait or that you just need someone to turn to.

Offer reassurance

Regardless of the legal issue, most individuals actively represented by an attorney have concerns and need reassurance. As part of their work, all lawyers have to inform their clients about certain things. Part of this role usually involves some reassuring words. Some legal matters or certain customers may need more security than others. Divorce mothers often fall under this umbrella.

If your attorney is compassionate and takes the time to understand your situation and feelings so that they provide you with real security, they will take care of your case. You’re not just another number to her. They care about how you are feeling and whether their services make it easier for you to rest at night.

Nor are these attorneys going to gloss over their answers to help you feel better. However, they will help you see the positive sides of your legal troubles. By providing your options and different perspectives, you can show that they care.

Provision of resources and recommendations

It is generally not the attorney’s job to provide clients with resources and recommendations that are outside of their legal obligations to improve their clients’ situation. It is their job to guarantee a legal representation, to inform them about their legal possibilities and rights and to proceed according to their wishes. When a divorce attorney offers their clients additional resources and referrals, it is a reliable sign that they are concerned about the outcome of their divorce and their well-being. Sometimes it’s as easy as recommending a book or website, and sometimes it’s a more important resource. Divorce attorneys handling the divorce of mothers and their children often provide resources and referrals when appropriate for:

Follow through

Many professionals, including lawyers, make the mistake of saying that they will do something and they will not persevere. Others might say that they will do something within a certain deadline, but never meet that deadline. More urgent things could arise, people forget, and everyone makes mistakes. For example, suppose your divorce attorney mostly does what he says he will do when he says he will. If so, you can be sure that they really care about you and your divorce case.

Regardless of someone’s job or seriousness, they prioritize what’s important to them. If your attorney has shown you consistently and you must be a priority in his book, it is a reflection of the fact that he is handling your case.

Divorce attorneys are certainly not nurses, doctors, teachers, or relatively well known for having caring or nurturing careers, but many do really care about their clients. Having someone on your side who really cares about what you are going through and the outcome of your divorce can make all the difference in this often confusing and frustrating time of life.