I was talking with one of my coaching clients this morning and she expressed how frustrated she was and said “Why is this taking so long?”

Although the past year with Covid caused huge delays in the court system, we seem to be able to get through the process at a more “normal” pace.

If you’re fortunate enough to not have to go to court and you’re doing your divorce through mediation, collaborative, or DIY, you may be in a better position to get things to move along faster.

But Not Necessarily….

So what are some of the reasons why your divorce is taking so long and what can you do if you’re feeling “stuck?” Should you try to speed things up?

Like so many things when it comes to divorce, the answer to that depends. As we talked about before, divorce is loaded with emotions – both yours and your spouses.

These Emotions Can Slow Things Down

Usually, the person who wants the divorce wants it over quicker than the person who doesn’t want the divorce. The one who does want the divorce gets impatient and angry and may argue and fight with their spouse to get things done! The one who is being left feels wronged and afraid and will do anything to drag things out no matter what! If both spouses are locked in their positions emotionally, the divorce will take WAY LONGER than you can even imagine.

But sometimes there are reasons that make taking longer reasonable. If children are involved and they’re having a really difficult time, it may make sense to slow the divorce down.

It may be that the house needs to be sold before the divorce (although there are so many ways to deal with that by using a real estate professional, mortgage specialist and a CDFA® (Certified Divorce Financial Analyst.)

If the divorce is amicable, it may slow down because one spouse really does need to work through the emotional overwhelm in order to make good and rational decisions.

No matter what the reason is – whether it’s in your control or not, there are things you can do to deal with this.