Staying Organized Throughout & After Divorce
When I went through my divorce it seemed like there were endless moving parts, some intertwined, all confusing and overwhelming. I knew I needed help with the legal, financial, and psychological aspects of a divorce, but what about my home, all of what we’d accumulated over the years, the daunting task of building new routines with our kids, and how do you just plan it? does everything go on?
Feeling overwhelmed inspired me to turn my professional organizing business into a divorce-driven endeavor to help divorce and divorce families with property division, home rearrangement, and children’s scheduling.
Stay organized during and after the divorce
Just like the New Year and Spring, divorce is an opportune time to take stock and get rid of the remnants of the past. This creates space to fill our home with things that represent our location today. How we organize and shape after divorce creates a foundation for the life we and our children enter.
Wherever you are in your divorce process, these steps can help you have more control and confidence about the next steps.
Step 1: make a plan
You might want to dive right into all of that basement stuff you’ve been dying to get rid of for years. I hear you but wait First, make a list of the rooms in your home that you need to comb and assign timeframes to each project … then double it up. (It always takes longer than you think!) Excessive demands and tiredness can lead to burnout. If you can do the sorting with your soon-to-be ex, go for it. If not, set separate times for each of you to go through things for yourself. If you’re scared of starting in the first place, bring in a neutral third party to help ease the breakup and keep you focused on the goal.
Step 2: determine a quiet oasis
The ups and downs of divorce require you to stay clear to face whatever is thrown at you. Your physical environment can work wonders for your emotional wellbeing and for your children too! Establish a personal space and a family area where you can relax and keep calm to stay grounded and connected as a family. In these rooms, remove clutter from the floors and surfaces. Choose a few things that evoke happiness and calm – for example fresh flowers or candles, a favorite blanket, a game or a book. This way, you create a warm, inviting retreat where you can relax no matter what is happening in your life.
Step 3: Make time to communicate with your children every day
I really wanted to tell my kids about the divorce. I remember my daughter’s first question: “Where are we going to live?” – which made me feel even worse! In our well-intentioned efforts to protect our children from uncomfortable feelings, we can shield them too much. It is important to keep lines of communication open and let the children know that you are there to answer any questions about the changes that are coming. Make time each day to be with your children without the distraction. Listen to their concerns and share plans that affect them. When children know what to expect, they feel less stressed and more secure. Talk to them about a new home if this is on your plan and ask for their help in decorating their own spaces.