Reconnecting to Your self Is Key To Divorce Restoration
On the road to recovery, reconnecting with yourself after a difficult time is important, but not many people know that.
A few years ago I was standing in line at the airport ready to get on a plane to DC. It was an exciting time for me as I went there to wait for my first grandson to arrive.
Behind me there is a group of women who seem to be traveling together.
I hear one of the women say to the other: “Now that my divorce is finally over, I feel like I have no more life. I don’t know which way to go or where to go. My purpose in life was so closely related to my marriage. I love my children and my career, which is a huge part of my life. There has to be more to it than going through the same old routine every day.
In fact, most days I just drift along and go through the moves. It’s so frustrating. I don’t know what my next step is. “
Why is it important to reconnect with yourself?
Reconnecting with yourself is an important step in moving forward on the other side of the divorce. You’re not the same as you were before. In addition, some of your roles and identification are different. The question arises: “Who are you now?
Learning the importance of self-care will help develop respect and love for yourself. It’s not selfish. In addition, it improves self-esteem, creates positive feelings, and increases self-confidence.
Simple, easy steps like exercise, eating healthy, and proper rest will help you heal from the inside out, faster.
Creating more harmony physically, emotionally, intellectually and spiritually supports a more balanced life. In fact, it enables you to celebrate all the wonderful things about yourself and to acknowledge who you are now.
Most of all, they feel inspired to set goals and make plans for the future. You make better decisions and decisions for the future that come from your higher self.
Here is an example
Jordan divorced after 23 years of marriage. After being married long, the emotional upheaval and shock becomes increasingly evident as Jordan ponders the memories, devotion, and passionate commitment she put into the marriage.
All of her hopes and dreams that she will see her future clearly are now gone. Brady, her husband, was unhappy for a long time. He chooses not to spend the rest of his life in a marriage that no longer brings him happiness or joy. Brady doesn’t want to go to Jordan for counseling or therapy to find out.
He feels that the marriage is about to return. Brady believes that he is still young enough to enjoy what life has to offer. As a result, he goes to explore other options and opportunities that might get in his way.
Long after she and Brady divorced, Jordan keeps Brady’s little home office as he left it. She doesn’t change anything. The phone and his old headset are on his desk. The headset reminds her of times when he’d walk around the house doing other chores and forget to take it off. Sometimes he would go outside to do some work. The headset is still on my head.
How did she deal with it?
Jordan is putting on weight and feeling out of control. As a short person in stature, the weight is more pronounced on their small body. Emotional eating is their coping mechanism. It’s their way of dealing with the situation. Jordan feels a lot of pain and fear. Not only that, she doesn’t allow the uncomfortable feelings and emotions to trickle into her experience. Instead of taking care of them, she stuffs them back down with lots of food.
It eats away those feelings and emotions.
Under these circumstances she does not recognize herself; and emotionally she no longer knows who she is. She has lost her confidence and wellbeing. Jordan begins on the path of recovery and is “stuck” when she realizes that if she does not take care of herself from the inside out, she will lose the power to take control of her present life. By denying that her life is different now, she is not adapting to her current situation.
When faced with a life changing experience, it is important to realize that it is changing you. As a result, you need to get acquainted with yourself again and hug that person. You need to focus on reconnecting with yourself.
How she regained control of her life
For Jordan, the extra weight is an emotional crutch. Emotional eating becomes a habit and as a result creates a literal barrier between yourself and others. You begin to isolate yourself and become less social.
There is good news, however. Emotional eating is just a habit and a habit that it can break. Jordan can replace this negative behavior with more positive, productive ones.
Along with Brady’s home office and creating an exercise room for the new exercise routine she adopts, she begins to cook her favorite dishes that are nutritious and healthy.
Here are some steps to take
Jordan is taking some simple steps so that she can celebrate the wonderful things about herself again. This eventually leads to her feeling empowered and regaining control of her life.
- Become aware of the thoughts associated with emotional eating. Write down the most common.
- Make a list of different behaviors that she can use in place of overeating and put it in a prominent place so that she can be easily reminded of them. The kitchen cabinet is the right place for them. Instead of mindlessly going to the closet for some snacks, she chooses a new behavior from the list and does it instead.
- When the uncomfortable feeling overtakes them, Jordan just wants to get rid of it. Instead of eating, she has to stop where she is and feel the uncomfortable feeling. She has to inhale the uncomfortable feeling with long, slow breaths. As it does this, the breath will take away some of its strength. As a result, she remains in control and makes better choices.
- Adopt a regular exercise routine and consciously choose healthy, nutritious foods that will allow her to nurture self-care from the inside out.
What does she learn from it?
Jordan learns to be present. She does not allow herself to be distracted by thoughts of the past or the future. The past is gone and the future is not there yet. All we ever have is the present moment.
By becoming aware of her thoughts, she learns that the thoughts create the unpleasant feelings that trigger emotional eating. When she becomes aware of them, she can push them aside. By pushing them aside, she creates space to replace negative thoughts with positive ones.
When she does, she feels less worried, worried, and stressed about things that she no longer has control over. What she begins to cultivate is in control of herself. By doing this work and reconnecting with herself, she begins to know, respect, and love who she is now.