I recently had the opportunity to train with two of the most famous mediators in Massachusetts: John Fiske and Diane Neumann. Every time they conduct a training course, John and Diane share what they think is the most important question a client needs to answer in order to have effective mediation. John says he thought the most important question was “What do I want?” But then he will tell you with a knowing smile that Diane does not agree with him and she would say that the most important question a customer has to answer is “Who am I?” Is. I agree with Diane. The best lawyers and mediators ask their clients not only about their desires, but also about the client’s identity, goals and values ​​in order to help clients resolve conflicts as effectively as possible. While we know this, often we don’t ask the simplest questions of our clients when we first meet them or when they fill out a recording. We don’t give them the opportunity to answer the question “W.