Glad New 12 months, I Need to Divorce! Here is What You Ought to Do
Do you want a divorce this new year? You’re not alone. Divorce lawyers regularly report a significant increase in inquiries and filings in January – sometimes by as much as 25 to 30 percent. The increase makes sense as many people don’t want to dampen the holiday season by filing for divorce in December and feel motivated by the fresh start that a new year offers. While it’s a tough decision to make, if you are considering a divorce here are some steps you should take to prepare.
If you are about to get a divorce, ask yourself if you are ready
When you get out of the holiday bubble, you may feel like you have been doused in ice cold water. All of a sudden, we have to deal with all of the real world problems that we put on hold, including serious marital problems. But before you rush to see a divorce lawyer, take a moment to consider if you are really ready to go that route. Consider questions like:
- Did I raise my concerns about our marriage to my spouse? Have we really tried to work on our problems?
- Am I threatening a divorce out of frustration, defiance, anger or as a warning?
- Would I honestly be happier without my spouse?
- What would my life be like without my spouse?
- Am I Ready To Cope With The Negative Consequences Of Divorce?
- Do I still have feelings for my spouse?
Divorce seems like a tempting solution until you are realistic about all of the changes it will bring to your life. Trying to resolve your marital problems may feel more difficult in the short term, but in the long run it could be the right decision for your life.
Gather relevant documents
Suppose you decide that a divorce is definitely the way to go. In that case, it is a smart idea to start by collecting the documents and financial information you need to determine marital wealth. Such papers will likely include pay slips, credit card bills, tax returns, real estate deeds, bank and mortgage statements, loan documents, and more. Make copies of these documents and keep them in a safe place as soon as possible.
Take advantage of your new calendar by setting specific divorce deadlines to help you stay focused and move the process forward. For example, you could set January 31 as the target date for collecting all of your financial documents, February 15 as the deadline for finding a divorce lawyer or accountant, etc. Once you have a lawyer they can help you come up with a detailed and realistic one Create a schedule and plan.
Find the support you need
Divorce is a difficult journey, but a robust support system will pave the way. For professional assistance, find and hire a trustworthy divorce lawyer to guide you through the legal process, or find a good mediator. You may also need a financial planner or accountant to help you understand your current financial situation, determine how a divorce will affect your finances, and imagine how you will support your family and lifestyle in the future.
Good emotional support is just as important in this process. Share your feelings with family or friends, or join a local or online divorce group. If your feelings become overwhelming, don’t hesitate to contact a therapist who specializes in divorce. The bottom line is that you don’t have to and shouldn’t go through this alone. The more peace you have in your divorce process, the easier it will be to thrive in your new life.
If you are considering divorce or want to know all the options that could mean a better future, click here for more information.