Divorce doesn’t have to be a nightmare!

Even amicable divorces can get contentious and messy when there is a disagreement over custody or financial matters. Many divorces start out messy and get worse and worse. But the end of your marriage doesn’t have to be a nightmare. There are steps you can take to prepare yourself financially and emotionally for the journey ahead, even before the divorce process even begins in some cases.

At some point in almost every divorce, the emotions are high. Even if your marriage breakup is mutual, no children involved, and minimal wealth to share, the end of an intimate relationship is usually associated with some level of grief. This is especially true if you have lived with one person for several years and have shared a bed, chores, finances, laughter, arguments, and everything else that comes with the marriage.

Tips for a Less Painful Divorce

The end of your married life together can quickly become a fresh start if you follow a few important pre-divorce, divorce, and post-divorce steps. Read on for advice on how to keep your divorce from turning into a nightmare.

Hire a good divorce lawyer.

While you may be tempted to divorce yourself, it is strongly discouraged. Even when divorces seem straightforward and friendly, problems can arise and the smallest mistake can have dire consequences. In the long run, hiring a good divorce lawyer can save you significant money, and this will definitely save you time and stress.

Don’t just select the first lawyer shown in a Google search, however. Do your homework. Interview at least three attorneys and choose a candidate who has at least five years of family law experience, appears competent, confident, honest, and is most comfortable with.

Review, organize and prepare your finances.

If you are initiating a divorce, it is a good idea to get a handle on your financial situation before you file for it. A divorce lawyer can help you review your finances to determine which debts and assets are held together and which, if any, are in your name or your spouse’s name only. In the event of a divorce, these debts and assets must be divided up in accordance with your state’s distribution law, which in most states provides a fair distribution. In addition to the family home and all other real estate, assets can include vehicles, bank accounts, retirement accounts and other investments, works of art, and even a joint venture.

Fair distribution does not mean that the assets will be split 50%. Rather, it is a fair and equitable division. If you are a home mom and your husband’s income has been used to buy all of your joint property, for example, it does not necessarily mean that he retains full ownership of those property. In a just distribution state, the non-monetary contribution of staying at home to raise the children is included in the calculations of the real estate division.

To get a clearer picture of your financial situation, compile all of your financial documents, including payrolls, tax returns, bank statements and statements for mortgages, vehicle loans, and credit cards, as well as details of investment accounts, valuations of valuable works of art and jewelry, and a copy of your credit report.

Before initiating a divorce, you should also consider getting a loan on your behalf, especially if all of your existing loan has been shared with your spouse for years. This can help you get a mortgage or vehicle loan after the divorce. To start setting up a loan apart from your spouse, you can open a credit card on your behalf only.

You should also consider closing all shared bank and credit accounts before parting, to prevent both parties from making financial decisions that could be used against you later in the lawsuit. If you are unable to withdraw funds, you can request the accounts to be frozen instead. Once the divorce is finalized, any remaining debt will be divided between you in such manner as the court deems appropriate.

Set a budget after the divorce.

While living on an income may be challenging at first, there can also be a lot of freedom to figure out how you want to live and what steps you need to take to get there. You no longer have to be accountable to a spouse! To make this transition as smooth and enjoyable as possible, it helps to estimate your expenses: what type of housing do you want and how much it will cost, what is the approximate monthly payment for the car you are driving and how will it be Are you financing your retirement? Keeping a budget in mind after divorce is also useful when negotiating a divorce settlement.

Keep it noble.

From start to finish and hopefully afterwards, driving on the country road will benefit everyone, including you. Making a conscious choice to remain calm, kind, and compassionate not only prevents inappropriate behavior that could be used against you in court, but also has extraordinary physical and emotional benefits for you, your spouse, and any children involved. In addition, calm, peaceful divorces tend to be quicker and much cheaper.