“One of the saddest parts of a divorce is that question,” says Seal Beach, California, family law attorney, Glen Rabenn: “Who keeps the family’s pet? It is often a deeply emotional aspect of a divorce and it is difficult to compromise as both sides love the animal. “

This problem affected “Mary Anne” and her husband “Justin” who worked together as architects. Worked – in the past tense because “COVID destroyed our business and put so much pressure on our marriage that it fell apart,” both explained in a phone call.

“You were referred to as the Ann Landers / Dear Abby of the Legal World, and we thought you might be able to help us solve a tough problem, custody of our darling Chihuahua,” said Mary Anne.

The couple’s call could not have come at a better time than the day before when I discussed these very same questions with Rabenn and Barbara J. Gislason, an internationally recognized animal rights pioneer, of Fridley, Minnesota.

She wrote a book on the subject for the American Bar Association’s Family Law Division, Pet Law and Custody: Establishing Dignified and Just Justice for the Developing Family. She examines the cultural role animals play in our lives, asks important questions about how we treat animals, and discusses how the law should be applied in a way that is in the best interests of both humans and animals.

Under the law, pets are usually considered property

“Historically,” explains Gislason, “animals – pets – just like the furniture in your home were considered property. In the event of a divorce, the courts would review who paid the pet and their veterinary bills or registration fees, and would grant that person so regardless of the degree of attachment the spouse had with the pet.

“As anyone who has owned a dog or cat knows, we love these animals and that has nothing to do with who bought or paid for food and health care. When courts divided a couple’s fortunes, the results were often very sad and unfair. But then, a few years ago, family court judges and lawmakers began to view pets as more than just items of property. “

Pet Standard Best Interests: What If You Are In Court?

As an attorney, I lived in divorce court for 30 years and saw firsthand how difficult dealing with family pet custody can be than a custody battle. Thankfully, that’s changing rapidly as three states – Alaska, Illinois, and California – allow family judges to view pet custody in a similar way to child custody.

“Judges in these states must now consider the welfare of the animal and answer this question: What is in the best interests of the animal?” Gislason notes, adding, “It is always best for the parties to avoid a terrible, costly battle in court and approach custody – and joint custody – to find what is best for the pet.”

I explained this to my readers and asked them to present themselves to the court, knowing that the judge will decide at their own discretion who will receive the Chihuahua. Attorney Gislason suggests that you think about how the judge will feel after one or both of the attorneys do the following:

1. Present one of you as a nice person who is devoted to the dog, showing examples of loving care, and arguing that the other is much less interested in the dog.
2. Emphasize that his client paid all veterinary expenses for the animal.
3. That the other person ignored or neglected the animal.
4. That your argument is motivated by vengeance. Judges do not reward pet owners in this situation.

“You don’t really want a fight like that, do you?” Both agreed they didn’t.

“So how can we solve this?” They asked.

Pet custody and sharing agreement

Glen Rabenn offers a five step solution:

1. Have a detailed written agreement. Err on the side of being too specific.
2. It should include a weekly schedule for custody and the state to make important medical decisions, including ultimately about the animal’s dying.
3. Can you take the pet outside of your state? Think of the same things as you would for a child.
4. Don’t leave things to chance.
5. If you disagree, give the mediation or agreed family members to resolve the matter.

Gislason agrees, adding:

“Be polite to each other and try to talk it through. Sometimes it helps to give up something else that you want in a marital argument. “I’ll get the dog and you get the mountain bike.”

She concludes with this recommendation:

“Encourage family members to lean on the person trying to take the other person’s dog away. Family members usually know who the parties consider the pet owner, and I would encourage them to get involved in resolving the matter. “

This article is written by our contributing advisor and presents the views of our contributing advisor, not the Kiplinger editorial team. You can review advisor records with the SEC or FINRA.

Lawyer, author of “You and the Law”

After attending Loyola University Law School, H. Dennis Beaver joined the Kern County California Attorney’s Office, where he established a consumer fraud department. Practicing general legal practice, he writes a syndicated newspaper column entitled “You and the Law”. Through his column he offers his help free of charge to readers who need down-to-earth advice. “I know it sounds cheesy, but I just love being able to use my education and experience to help, just to help. When a reader contacts me, it’s a gift.”