Altering Conversations about miscarriage and baby loss
More and more women are sharing their stories of perinatal loss and creating a community through their shared experiences.
BUFFALO, NY – When Molly White and her husband Jeremy discovered she was pregnant, they were surprised to find that they were expecting four, not one child.
Molly has one twin and grew up with a different group of twin siblings. She told 2 On Your Side’s Karys Belger that she leaned on her mother for support but was initially blown away by the news.
“I was both very excited that we were pregnant and I cried a lot because I just didn’t know how we were going to do it,” she said.
Doctors told her there were some risks, but White said she was still optimistic. She was healthy and felt fine during her pregnancy.
“I haven’t thought much about the potential of losing them. It’s more that they could come early and be in intensive care for a long time.”
At 19 weeks, says Molly, something has changed.
“I just knew I was in pain. I ended up going to the hospital. Went to Oishei.”
Over a period of five days, Molly told me that she had lost all four of her children, which she couldn’t have prepared for.
Molly’s husband WGR radio personality Jeremy White spoke publicly about the experience on his platform. She says the support, especially from other women, has been amazing.
“You realize that there are other people, there are so many other people who are with you.”
Valerie B. of East Aurora says that while her experience was not exactly the same, she too felt the support of her community as she shared her experience.
Valerie told Karys Belger of 2 On Your Side that she had suffered two losses this year. First, she was told by her doctor that she had a bad egg. She mourned the loss privately for not telling anyone but her husband who she was expecting.
Valerie was pregnant again that summer and says she started telling her family and some friends. Her doctor could not detect a heartbeat during an examination. She told 2 On Your Side that the second loss was much worse.
“I could see my baby. I could see them moving and stretching and then suddenly they were just gone.”
Finally, Valerie decided to share what had happened on Facebook. Like Molly, she says she was overwhelmed by the support of other women who told her about her loss.
Valerie and Molly, said On Your Side, believe it is important to share their experiences because they can help other women and they have seen other women doing something similar to help create a dialogue on the subject lead to perinatal loss.
25 percent of pregnancies end in loss, and recently more and more women are starting to tell their stories. Chrissy Teigen, Christina Perri and Meghan, the Duchess of Sussex, in particular, have publicly shared their experiences.
Valerie told 2 On Your Side that she saw Tiegen’s post on Instagram and noticed how many women also commented on their own stories.
– chrissy teigen (@chrissyteigen) October 1, 2020
The effects are similar to those she experienced.
White says the Perinatal Bereavement Network helped her and her family as they coped with her loss. The organization offers a variety of services to families, including bears with their children’s heartbeat so that they can keep their memories.
Since last year, White and her husband have launched various initiatives to help the Western New York Perinatal Bereavement Network help other women receive the support she has received.
“If there is anything we can do to help other women, to help their families, we want it.”
More information about the Perinatal Bereavement Network can be found here.