10 Motive Your Marriage Fizzled Out
Marriages fizzle out and die a slow death for the most innocuous of reasons. Most marriages do not succumb to an affair or a midlife crisis. Most divorce because the spouses do not pay attention to the simple things that keep a marriage going and that make both spouses happy.
Below are 10 reasons your marriage is fizzling out:
1. Lack of joy in the relationship
When the marriage and relationship becomes dull and predictable, both spouses lose interest. If both spouses work to keep things exciting and entertaining, the marriage has a better chance in the long run. If it turns into soccer and shopping with friends every Sunday instead of spending time together and new experiences, the marriage is slowly dying.
2. A lack of boundaries in the relationship
Setting boundaries is an important part of any healthy relationship. If you don’t want to tell your spouse what you and cannot tolerate in marriage, how should your spouse know what limits can and cannot be exceeded?
Most believe that boundaries are about setting boundaries for the other person’s behavior. In reality, YOU set YOUR limits and then don’t hang around when YOUR limits are exceeded. For example:
“I feel humiliated when you tease me in front of friends. Next time this happens, I’ll tell you in front of our friends that I feel humiliated and will withdraw from the conversation. ”Then the next time you’re belittled or whatever your spouse does that upsets you , stick to the limit you have set.
3. Take the relationship for granted
I heard a bride say, “Now that we’re married, he can never leave me.” Think again! The moment your spouse becomes your sure thing, your marriage begins to die. It is human nature to pay less attention to things we are sure of. Not paying attention to whether or not the marriage is in good shape and your spouse is happy is a great way to have a bad marriage and an unhappy spouse.
4. Failure to… communicate properly
My ex and I used to take great pride in our communication skills. We talked in circles and didn’t solve marriage problems. When you have important conversations about the relationship, keep in mind that men and women have different communication styles. Women are emotional communicators, men are logical communicators. Learn how to decipher what your spouse is saying and where they’re from.
5. Financial difficulties or not being on the same page financially Financial
When both spouses are not involved in and are unaware of the financial reality of the marriage, it is an invitation to trouble. In most marriages, one or the other spouse will pay the bills and control the money. That’s all well and good, but both spouses should be aware of where they stand financially as a couple. And there should be an understanding of who is spending what and what it is being spent on. If not, a spouse can issue a marriage in divorce court.
6. Participate in power struggles as a couple
Marriage is a give and take. Sometimes one spouse gives more than the other, but the pendulum should swing back and forth for the health of the marriage. Couples get into trouble when one wants power over the other and there is an ongoing battle with that spouse trying to exercise dominance. In successful marriages, the spouses are willing to share power rather than argue over it.
7. Lack of sex
Physical intimacy binds a couple together. Without them, spouses become roommates instead of husbands and wives. It is true that sexuality, or the desire for intimacy, increases and decreases due to many things. Women age and hormones decline, men work too much and come home too tired to have sex.
Making time to have sex is beneficial to your marriage and relationship unless you feel abused or neglected by your spouse. In such situations, I encourage communication in case of neglect and to leave the marriage in case of abuse.
8. Lose self-esteem
It is easy for women who do not work outside of the home to get lost in marriage and family. I dare say that this is probably the number one cause of gray divorces. Women raise their children, support their husbands and their work, and reach middle age without knowing who they are or what to do with their empty nest.
Each spouse must take time from the other and the children to participate in activities that fulfill them and help them maintain a sense of who they are outside of marriage and the roles of spouse and parent.
9. Become the nagging wife
I’m sorry, ladies, but you are married to an adult, not a child. Yes, you may think it’s his job to mow the lawn, but if he doesn’t, he won’t get him behind a mower if he nags him. It will make him resent you, and resentment in a marriage is a surefire hit.
If your husband doesn’t fix the leaking faucet, you’ll pay a plumber. If the deck needs dyeing and he ignores your prompt, hire someone to do the job. If he takes a look at finances and sees that it is costing him less to get out and do those jobs, he’ll be busy. And he won’t be able to accuse you of being a “nagging wife”.
10. Suffocate your spouse
I have a friend who would cut her husband’s flesh if he would allow her. Every shirt is perfectly starched, every lunch packed with nutritious meals, and she is aware of every movement he makes during the day.
Yes, you love your spouse, but that’s no reason to treat them like they can’t take care of themselves or feel like you should be bound at the hips. Give your spouse space, don’t keep them on a short leash and you will both be happier. In return, you will have a better marriage.